Dating a Divorced Man Who Doesnt Want to Get Married Again

This is an email I received from a 50 something year-old divorced guy who got divorced considering his married woman cheated on him. He was very surprised and hurt by the…..

This is an electronic mail I received from a l something year-former divorced guy who got divorced because his wife cheated on him. He was very surprised and injure past the adulterous and said he never suspected it. I believe he has been divorced for a couple of years at the well-nigh, and is at present dating another adult female and writes "I will never become married again. Ever."

I met a girl, "historic period appropriate," masters degree, university teacher, very squeamish, attractive, really like shooting fish in a barrel to talk to.

She was married for 34 years, dated just one other guy very brief, then met me. She lives about 180 miles away. Nosotros have seen each other about 5 times (weekend things).  I quickly realized she was falling for me. I told her that I really like her, I enjoy our time together very much, just, I as well told her that I will NEVER get married once more, nor will I E'er tell a woman that "I love her".

I figured she would go the hint. She has made it very clear to me that she wants to exist with somebody and abound old together.   Do women at this age actually think they are going to "change" guys my age? Gosh darn it, I do non e'er want to hurt anybody's feelings, but I feel like I am misleading this adult female. I call up she confuses the fact that since I exercise non date other women, we are a "couple", and someday soon I will snap out of it.

I am leaving in 5 days for United mexican states, followed by South America. I travel nearly 4 months a year. If I met the woman of my dreams, I would either have her with me. But finding a woman like this is, well,  "mission impossible."

Most divorced guys over 50 that are still full of life, self assured, financially self made and secure and Have Non engaged in a serious relationship in over a twelvemonth ( or more than) after their divorce, are acclimated in their unmarried lifestyle ways. Our optics are not closed and our hearts are non sealed, but we are hesitant to drastically deviate from our lifestyle patterns to accommodate a relationship.

And so, do I break it off with this girl?

My gut reaction to his last question: YES!! Delight break information technology off. Although, now that he is leaving for a few months and hasn't asked her to join him, what is the difference, anyhow? It's kind of the same thing as breaking it off.

Being a divorced woman over 50, I experience for this woman. These two people want completely different things from this relationship. She wants marriage. He…well, I don't know what he wants because I don't really think he knows what he wants. I do know one thing. He doesn't want her. That is nothing personal against her, she just isn't the one for him. But in all fairness to her, he needs to set things straight then she tin weep, be upset about information technology being over, and then move on and become involved with someone who wants to grow erstwhile with her.

Merely permit'due south talk about "I will NEVER go married again" and "I will never tell a woman that I love her." Wow. This is a homo who has been deeply, deeply hurt and feels so betrayed, that he is unsure he tin always trust a woman enough to say I dear y'all and/or get married.

I'thousand not judging because I tin can understand how he might feel. Any divorced person probably can. And I accept to believe many divorced people have said these things—I'm never getting married again, I'thousand never saying I love you lot again, and and then after some time goes past and/or they meet the correct person, they change their mind.

This guy is saying that finding true dearest is "mission impossible" because he is very damaged and so for him, it is. He might benefit from therapy, a support group, or doing some type of work to get closure, acceptance and to learn that not every adult female cheats.

All this said, in my feel, I have institute there are two types of men: the ones who are set in their means, who don't want to "drastically deviate from their lifestyle for a relationship" equally this guy says, and the ones who really like monogamy and beingness a couple with someone—guys who want to exist remarried. And by the way, there are countless women over 50 who are still "full of life!" Just have to react to his statement that makes it seem otherwise.

I as well discover that the more time that goes by afterwards a divorce that someone stays single, the less likely he/she is to get remarried. In other words, from what I've seen, people either go remarried pretty apace or they remain unmarried for a long, long time. At that place are exceptions, of course.

The lesser line is, every divorced person has a different experience, and what happens in the hereafter depends on countless things which include: how long they were married, if they had children, why they got divorced, how they are doing financially, whether or non they similar and/or tin can handle being unmarried, who they see, of course, and many many other factors.

I don't recollect people should say things like, "I'll never ever get married again" or "I'll never say I love you" because life has this funny way of irresolute what we idea was going to happen or what we want. If someone would have told me I wouldn't be married again after 10 years of being divorced, I would never have believed them. I really wanted to be remarried. But I couldn't be happier virtually the way life has turned out for me. Isn't that what actually matters?

I guess what I'g proverb is, just be happy and comprehend all the unexpected things that come up your way. You lot do take to do a little work—meaning healing, accepting and moving on from your divorce. The balance is doing what makes you really really happy every single day, spending time with those you dear and letting everything else fall into place.

Similar this article? Cheque out, "Newly Separated Human Expresses Raw Hurting"

Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Guy Grin is a web log for men facing divorce and dating after divorce. It'south kind of like hanging out with your platonic female person divorced friend and hearing her perspective on your divorce and your honey life issues.

laboyimmill.blogspot.com

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